If I had 25 Million dollars…

Did any one else catch the special on the Today show this morning about “What the Presidential Hopefuls Homes Say About Them?” I started watching, hoping to hear something positive and encouraging about the men who I so avidly watch being made fun of each week on Saturday Night Live. So I paused the episode and took the kids to school and sat down with my coffee for five minutes of relaxation until it was time to get back to work writing again.

Unpause DVR.

The show opens with Mitt Romney’s six freaking homes. The first is called a “lakeside compound” by the woman describing it. Next we move on to Ron Paul’s simple typical ranch, only worth a quarter of a mill and extremely criticized by the description of it, and is made out to be dirty and old. On to Jon Huntsman and his simple Brownstone that any great New Englander would be proud of along with lots of art…UNTIL they throw in… Oh and this is his inherited compound in Utah, it’s, eh, actually not a house but an entire ski chalet with a mere twelve bedrooms and sixteen baths and lies on 63 acres. Newt is bragged on for his wise choice in buying a million dollar estate that is now worth twice that and how special it is that he lives next to lots of people with power. Rick Santorum’s made a great investment by buying in the most affluent town in America and residing in his two million dollar mansion with a driveway that Ricky Schroeder would be envious of. Lets not forget Rick Perry, who couldn’t continue to live in the Governor’s mansion, so he figured he’d go rent out the next biggest palace in town for ten grand a month. The interview closes with the woman saying that the one thing that all of these homes have in common is that they are traditional. Traditional little men living in quaint freaking traditional little houses.

Are you kidding me? We live in a nation that is fifty-six trillion dollars in debt and the hilarious thing to me is that we could knock twenty-five million off of that if the six men who are running to be our master in chief would sell their homes. That would be enough money to feed Africa for 20 years. 25 million dollars is what the U.S. paid Libyan Rebels (known Al Qaeda members) to exterminate Moammar Gadhafi’s regime.

A Libyan rebel fighter smokes a cigarette next to a multiple rocket launcher in the back of a pickup truck, as the rebels  prepare to make an advance, in the desert on the outskirts of Ajdabiya, Libya. (AP Photo/Ben Curtis) 

And I thought the only compounds in America belonged to cults….

Raising Abnormal Children

So every parent wonders what they are doing right or wrong and some simply live their lives like birds, perfectly willing to toss their offspring out into the world and if they fly, they fly and if they crash, they burn.  I am definitely raising weird children and I am perfectly okay with it.  I am in no way ever going to kick them out of the nest but I firmly believe that each one will leap on their own, fully prepared and excited to soar across the skies and avoid random cars, trees and airplanes with ease. 

My middle child is gluten intolerant.  Its not like the gluten makes him sick or anything…he really just uses this as a ploy to get the ladies.  I absolutely hate it when other moms, doctors or random people say something to me like “oh an allergy to gluten, that’s becoming really popular.” Well yes, doctors are still in their early stages of learning how to diagnose and treat someone who can’t tolerate gluten.  I guess one hundred years ago people were like “oh cancer? That’s becoming really popular…at least he doesn’t have the plague or cholera….” 

What I do love is the outreach in my small town of parents who are understanding of his issues and like I said, his ploy with the ladies.  I have mom’s calling me on a regular basis because they are bringing treats in to school for their child’s birthday, etc. and they say that their children (almost ALWAYS the girls) are insistant that my son have something he can eat as a treat. I think this is so the first step on educating people in the world on what gluten free really is and teaching children that not everyone can just eat whatever and that it matters what we put into our bodies.

Besides the whole bread/grains thing, eating gluten free is really just about eating pure.  Fruits, vegetables, nuts, meats are all naturally occurring, un-modified, healthy foods.  There are tons of other whole grains that work too and just don’t contain gluten.  It is SO easy to eat gluten free, but even easier to just eat organically and in a manner that preserves our bodies and treats them as the temple that God intended them to be.  Actually it is also SO cheap if you do it right.  If you aren’t buying all the junk food then you have extra money to buy healthy items and create your own kinds of junk food.  At our house we have started to make our own juice, popsicles, yogurt and frozen yogurt.  I can make 8 servings of yogurt for $1.00.  One serving costs $1.00-$1.50 at the store. 

Lots more ideas about this are sure to shoot out of my fingers randomly.  Be prepared, and in the meantime, keep on raising your kids to be weirdos.  I will explain more about my other freaky babies tomorrow.

The Greatest Show You Aren’t Watching

Fred Armisen is biking through Portland with his obvious helmet-cam, cruising past elderly folks and whipping around corners, all the while I’m trying to pay attention to anything but the huge hairy mass that is residing on the chin of this hilarious and ironic character that he’s created.  I am an avid SNL watcher and am still mourning Funny or Die but Portlandia is definitely filling the void that is left when those two shows are absent.  You should definitely check out Portlandia on IFC.  LOVE It.

Where am I?

I am one of those people who after you talk with me for more than 5 minutes, you are pretty positive that I am somewhat insane.  There is so much Daisy Buchanan in me that I have to remind myself every day that I am not a fabulous debutant who has the right to freely dismiss all those who I do not deem extravagant enough to socialize with.  I do not have an off button certain days and everything that I am thinking or feeling seems to spew out of my mouth like confetti at a New Years Eve party.  It’s exciting for the moment but cleaning up the mess is a real pain. Also not the coolest way to gain respect in a little town of 5000 perfectly agreeable, neutral, luke warm residents. 

 

 

“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”-

Charles Bukowski

 

 

 

 

I am on fire constantly.  My brain never stops to think about if I am being disrespectful or annoying it just keeps going and going like the freaking energizer bunny.  It’s not just one subject or cause, it’s everything.  I love to write, I love to be healthy, my kids are so amazing and I want to show them the world that God created.  I want them to climb mountains and swim rivers, sleep in castles and eat in the ghetto, see operas in Europe, audition for Broadway and invent the next great mechanism that will ensure the existence of life on Earth.  So for those of you who sometimes talk to me and wonder what planet I am from, this post is for you.  I am not agreeable.  I have good intentions, I want to be nice to you, I want to talk to you and learn about your opinions and ideas and I 100% respect and enjoy hearing them.  I am not however going to always agree with you, think that you are right or act as such because I am afraid that you (sniff sniff) aren’t going to like me. If you don’t like me then walk away. I think un-acceptable things are funny, after all, if you really think about it, those of us who are the most fabulously insane are the ones that the world loves to watch, criticize and complain about…i.e. last years “winning” insane person…

 

 

The social stepladder that we climb in small towns can so closely be related to one of my favorite books, The Great Gatsby.  Isn’t it funny that when you read the book, everyone identifies with Gatsby initially.  He is handsome and wealthy, and if you ask someone who they most relate to once they have read half of the book, they would say Gatsby, unknowing that his majesty, arrogance and legendary qualities is what ultimately kills him in the end. I could read that book page to page and honestly believe that there was nothing else going on in the world outside of East Egg and the Valley of the Ashes. The entire world revolves around 500 acres of life.  Nick has seen the world, he attended Yale, and yet he has decided on a life where nothing exists outside of their little circle of lies, deceipt and forbidden (or destined depending on your view of the tale…I prefer destined) love.  Everyone knows everyone’s business, no one wants to talk about it, and they all think that they know what is best for each other, forgetting that they should just worry about themselves.  Fitzgerald could build an entire world around one man, on legend.  In a small town, every man thinks that he is that legend.  He is the one they will remember, he is the one they will talk about long after he is gone, no matter where he has been, the small town will remember where he is.

So where am I? I could care less as long as I am the center of their universe. My life lost its fame when I gave birth to those spectacular little lights of the world. Where I am is Trenton, Illinois, and right now The Valley of the Ashes works for me.  I will take the mansion someday, after they get theirs.  And yes, I am the legend.  You are the legend.  Legends are what you make of them.  So be your own legend, the world does not drop off at the edge of East Egg. 

The new Gatsby movie comes out in December 2012. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1343092/

What day is it? (Deuce)

Isn’t it great that the TV shows we watch help us keep track of what day it is? Like its easier for me to wake up because I know Grey’s Anatomy is new tonight and my weekly dose of Dr. Mark Sloan will finally curb the withdrawals I’ve been going through for the last month.  When I was little I know Saturday morning cartoons were such a huge deal, now there are so many cartoons available to watch that the whole idea of “saturday morning cartoons” is obsolete.  So what are our kids looking forward to? Maybe it’s the chance slumber party or school dance, maybe it’s a weekend away, but I surely hope that I can inspire my kids to ignore what day it is, because really they are all the same.  Another day to dream, another day to accomplish dreams, another day to say goodbye to our dreams.  It’s really just another day.

So we graduate from looking forward to cartoons to looking forward to Friday night football games or parties in high school. The whole idea of TGIF was actually conceived by high school students who had long forgotten the thrill of Saturday morning cartoons and replaced it with drives on country roads, Friday night at the movies and Justin Bieber concerts.  (that concept was totally created in my mind and I actually have no random idea on what or who created TGIF so if you are the creator then I apologize sincerely)  I honestly think that my days were planned around what class I had, who I sat by, who I would want to talk to that day.  I never knew who I would be on any given day.  Searching for a place to fit in and be accepted turned into just being a different person every single day so that I was accepted.  I don’t think I had any idea who I was until I had children and then I realized that if I had created such amazing things, then it must be okay to just be me and I pray every single day that I can teach my children that who they are isn’t defined by what day it is, what class they are in, or who they are sitting by.  They have amazing souls that are God-blessed and ready to conquer this world of tomorrows, if they only realize that today.

Once college hits we realize that Friday night is not the only night reserved for good times, depending on your class schedule, and the whole concept of what day it is takes on a whole new meeting.  I was a great singer in Chorus and dreamt of being a philanthropist in Philosphy. Professors inspired me with political science and I was a rebel smoking cigarettes outside with the stoners.  I don’t know where that fear of unacceptance began in me and eventually the days all muddle together and you can’t remember what story you told what person on what…day? What day will mom and dad ask to see my grades…what day will I get up the nerve to talk to that jock that I sit next to in Algebra…then for those of us who unfortunately got caught up in the party scene at college it turns into “Where am I?” Tomorrow we will tackle that question. 

Everyone finds themselves eventually and those of us who got lost along the way spend the rest of our lives trying to repair yesterday, instead of just living for today. But for me today is Thursday, because Grey’s Anatomy is on.

What day is it?

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one of those mornings

After all of the hustle and bustle of the holidays I still wake up wondering “what day is it?”  Seriously, it all just starts to blend in together sometimes. Which brings me back to my mantra, “You only have once chance to LIVE today.” Whether this morning was one of those mornings where I feel like my little house is way too small or like my little babies or way to big, I don’t want to forget THIS morning.  I try and suck up every little thing that happens, every comment and story, every homework problem and hygiene issue that my eleven year old seems to blatently forget every thirty seconds.

I try to remember the morning before. I try to think of a morning that I was the same age as my kids are. Somehow all of the things I swore I would never forget I seem to have forgotten.  So, the only resolution that I can come up with today is that I just have to remember what I did five minutes before.

Five minutes before this my little girl is asking me when her friend is coming over.  Five minutes before that I was cleaning the kitchen. Five minutes before that I took my boys to school. Five minutes. Oh how five minutes turns in to five years before you even have time to check how long it’s been.  I have to train my mind to not think about time. Today is all that matters.  What you do today is all you get.  One chance to be healthy, one chance to hug your kids, one chance to make sure that the one you love knows it, once chance to live your dreams.  So when it comes down to it, does it really matter what day it is?  It is today. Live Today.